


Could we ever be enough?

by Poppy93



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Love, M/M, Memories, hidden love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-15 00:00:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5764063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poppy93/pseuds/Poppy93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Harry Styles is a "straight" international pop star who just so happens to fall in love with the amazing footballer Louis Tomlinson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Could we ever be enough?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crisdrafta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crisdrafta/gifts).



> When I first started writing this it was with the sole purpose of showing a friend what fame feels like and how he could be shipped with another man but when I finished it I've realized that I've been writing it picturing Larry so I've changed a few names and here it is.  
> Also thanks C for supporting everything I write and for being the absolute best.
> 
> Enjoy xxx.

_“I was stumbling, looking in the dark_  
_With an empty heart_  
_But you say you feel the same_  
_Could we ever be enough?”_

Harry watches quietly as the words roll off his tongue. He tries to listen to what Louis has to say but the way his lips shape around words and the way he can practically see his accent kick in as he gets more and more passionate about the subject are so fucking distracting.

  
He always seems to have this problem when it comes to him. Everything seems to be so much more fuzzy and foggy when he’s with him and he can’t quite get to the bottom of this daze he’s always found in. He doesn’t remember being like this with anyone else, he thinks, still watching his boyfriend’s mouth shaping words. He never had this problem with any of his former girlfriends.

  
He was different, so much different. He was pure and innocent and everything with him was new and exciting and out of his old ways and he regretted nothing. This amazing man in front of him came just at the right time and he was so blessed to have him in his life. He came at a time when he felt like the last shred of humanity in him had been ripped off by the flashes of the cameras, the words of the critics and the pressure of his ever so raising fan base.

  
In the spur of the moment as his thoughts get him carried away he takes Louis’ head in his hands and the boy shuts up. They just stare at eachother for a few seconds before Harry pecks him and smiles.

  
“You didn’t hear anything I just said, did you?” he smiles fondly at the lanky lad in front of him who smiles sheepishly and shakes his head no. “Dare I ask where your head was?”

  
“You.”

A blush creeps up to Louis’ cheeks, his eyes immediately staring at the ground. Harry still finds it mesmerising how the boy in front of him can go from this amazing confident athlete to the shy dorkish guy who likes poetry and plays the piano like he was born to do it to the dominant hot sex god.

When they first met he was taken aback by the way he got hooked on his words. He was so scared of the way his body seemed to want to be closer and closer and how his heart beat faster when a cheeky comment was thrown at him.

And then they got drunk. And then they’d gotten drunker and drunker until Harry forgot how to properly think and he just kissed him. He didn’t know why he did it. He just did. And they never quite stopped ever since.

He remembers not knowing what was happening to him. He remembers being confused out of his mind. He remembers being scared. And he remembers screaming at him.

“I don’t know how to do this because I am a control freak. It’s like you tied me up and left me floating into oblivion. And I can’t do this, I am not used to doing this. My whole world is being ripped into pieces and I can not gather them. I can only watch them fade into nothingness. Because that’s what I am without control, nothing. And I am sorry for being such a control freak, I truly am. And I am sorry for not being able to “let lose” or “escape the moment” or any other kind of bullshit you seem to like so much. It is simply not who I am .”

And he remembers the way he would scream and throw things and still end up cuddled in his arms. And he remembers slowly whispering in his ear one night when he thought he was sleeping.

“You fucked me up. I never thought you would but you fucked me up. You broke me and mended me and broke me yet again. You destroyed every piece of me until there was no more left of my past self. You made me new. You fucked me up in the best kind of way and you somehow managed to make it so that I forgot everything and everyone before you.”

He used to write songs about not ever quite finding love and feeling alone with his huge heart and the love he had to give. He wrote songs about the girls he thought he’d liked until his hands bled music at its finest but somehow one cold night he realised those songs remind him so little about them and so much more about the bright blue eyes and the cheeky words he couldn’t quite get out of his head.

He questioned missing him many times, not knowing then that it wasn’t his body he craved but his soul. That huge soul he carries within his body that sometimes grows so much you can almost see it glow around him.

“I love you, you know.” he says bringing Lou closer to his chest. “I feel like I don’t tell you this enough but I do.”

Louis nods next to his chest trying to burry himself in his arms. Harry is used to it by now, they don’t say it so often and he is ok with that because who cares if he says it or not. He’s proven it in so many ways.

“Did you ever doubt this?” Louis asked.

“There was a time at the beginning when we were dating, when I kept wondering if we could ever be enough. I’ve actually thought long and hard about it, like, you know, if it was worth putting you trough all my emotional breakdowns and fits.”

“I suppose us being here should answer the question.” Louis chuckles quietly.

_“Baby, we could be enough.”_


End file.
